Tuesday, August 12, 2008

What a Difference the Chemicals Make!

It's been two months since I started the Wellbutrin and it's been a good thing.  I did a bit of the mania thing, which this time was pretty much just getting really jittery and talking very fast.  I didn't even seem to have problems with insomnia this time around.  (Though I do think I completely annoyed my sister who got a bit tired of the "ooh shiny" inability to focus on any one thing for more than 3 seconds.)

And I'm feeling pretty good about life in general right now.  I sleep like a normal person.  Walk the dogs.  Do fun stuff with my kid.  And even do the dishes from time to time.

While I've been on a break from my blog, I've vacationed with my mom and daughter, decided to go back to work part time, figured out that the thing I wanted to go to grad school for is really not what I want to do after all, taken a photography class, cleaned out the garage so my car actually fits in it, and attended my brother's wedding as the mother of the flower girl.

I'm not saying I'm never sad.  In fact I think I may feel sadness stronger now than I did when I was sad all the time.  And I'm certainly not always happy.  But I don't want to sleep all day.  I laugh when I'm happy.  I cry when I think of my aging dog's upcoming last days.  I can make decisions without second guessing myself for a week after.  And I am genuinely happy for the accomplishments of others.