Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I thought mean girls emerged in Jr. High!

Someone is bullying my daughter and I want it to stop. Now.

This girl is an evil mastermind. She personally hasn't said or done anything to L. She gets other kids to do it. L's friends. Even her best friend, who then felt so bad about it that she told her mom (which is how I found out that this is happening). L's best friend told her mom of at least 3 other girls who were being encouraged to tease L about a physical characteristic that she is sensitive about.

When I talked to L about it, she sobbed because she was so upset this was happening and seemed relieved that I knew about it and would step in to try and make things better.

So, even though I wanted to run right over to the school and pound this little brat on the head, I instead did the appropriate thing and called the school counselor to talk about it. (This is the same counselor I talked to two years ago and I felt like she did absolutely nothing to fix the problem. But that was a different situation and I have hope that this blatant bullying will provoke a response.)

I found out about this Wednesday evening. I called the counselor on Thursday morning. I heard back from her on Friday. I told her that I didn't understand the details and recommended that she talk to the friend's mom to get the full story about the girl who was getting other girls to say mean things to L. She thanked me for letting her know and told me she'd follow up on the situation. She's not at school on Monday. She finally talked to L today. Almost a week later.

I asked L how it went and what the counselor is planning to do. L told me that the counselor told her that she has two choices: L can talk to her friend about it and tell her it hurt her feelings or she can let it go and try to forget about it.

WHAT? This seems like a fine solution if it were just that her friend made a mean comment to her. I understand the concept of talking it out or just deciding something's not worth the trouble and just getting on with life. And if this were just between these two friends, I'd agree with this strategy. But this isn't that! I called the friend's mom this evening. The counselor didn't even talk to the mom to get the story, as I suggested. These two girls, who have been best friends since Kindergarten (now in 4th grade), are being manipulated by this outside force, this evil genius who seems bent on cutting others down for her personal enjoyment.

I don't know what to do. A week after the fact, L seems ok with the forgive and forget option offered to her by the counselor. Do I need to let it go now? Or do I need to continue to pursue this so that mean girl learns she can't continue to be mean girl?