Yesterday I finally broke down and went to the doctor for happy pills. I realized that for the third day in a row I had gone back to bed and slept the entire time my daughter was at school. Apparently this isn't normal.
I don't even want to write. Usually a bit of writing and I'm right back to my old self. Not this time. Leaving for a two-week vacation in a week with my daughter and mom. Usually I can't stop reading travel guides, searching travel websites and foodie blogs to find the hidden gems. This time I just keep thinking "I'll do it tomorrow."
So somehow through the fog, I came to the realization that I need to bring the chemicals back to my life. I refused the headaches, anxiety, and unmentionable side effects of SSRIs and opted instead for the induced mania that Wellbutrin provides. (The mania only lasts the first few weeks and it's not as much mania as it is hyper on steroids.) I took my first dose today. I haven't slept today but that's for lack of time, not lack of desire. I'm ready to start the mania.
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